Something most people will agree on, is that when you’re faced by a great unknown, is that it’s scary or exciting. Personally, I’m absolutely petrified. I do enjoy my job a lot, but despite working with some really great people, it can be rather mundane from time to time, and it isn’t always challenging. As such I’ve decided that I’m going to start Open University next year, as well as do a few vendor specific exams (including my LPIC-1). The reason I’ve not been able to do it until now is that there’s just something in the back of my mind, that tells me that I’ll fail.
My current level of fitness is also something that scares me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fat, infact I’m still underweight for my height (probably about right for my build), but my fitness is questionable - to say the least. Late summer this year, I started going swimming with my girlfriend but we slowly stopped going together, and going by myself was rather boring. Actually, that’s a complete and utter lie. I was intimidated by my fear of getting into that pool alone. So there’s something I want to work on. Perhaps jogging early each morning?
I’m also going to try to stop pushing my friends away. Over the last few months I’ve recognised that I’m increasingly alone, and that without my girlfriend I wouldn’t have any one else, outside of work, that I regularly see. Sometimes I enjoy it, and even crave it. But other times, I just cannot bear it. Working from home has put this into perspective. Granted the guys and gals I work with really go out of their way to stop these sort of problems, and we’ve got meetings / outings booked up well in advance for the coming year; but sometimes it’s just not enough.
As sad as it may seem, I’m going to try and spend a little less time with some members of my family over the next few months. I’ve realised I’m trying to fill in for my Dad, but it’s only making me unhappy as I just can’t do it without thinking that he’d be disappointed in me. His perspective radically changed when my Mum passed away and I truly didn’t understand, until this evening, just how much he was right. You need to live life as you want to, and make sure you enjoy it. He spent his life looking after people to the point of not living for himself, which he just couldn’t sustain over the years; which only caused disappointment to others in the end. I can only hope that I can be half as kind, but not take it to extremes.
So there are my resolutions. I was hoping to pop a [lame] screen resolution gag in there as well, but considering the max my 2 screens can get to is 2560x1024, and that I’m currently running at that, it would be rather tricky.